Sometime over the last few months I feel like I've woken up and I am more myself than I have ever been.
I've written about my goal to 'just be' on a few occasions here. I have been working towards taking one day at a time, being a more mindful person and parent and enjoying all the small moments over and have kept this in the back of my mind for over a year now.
Then R was born and I started struggling with E. Feeling helpless to his behaviour was something I hadn't experienced since he was a crying infant. I felt out of sorts, unmotivated and overwhelmed. This was when at six weeks postpartum I decided to head home to my parents for a week for a bit of a break and a change of scenery.
Before I left I asked my sister to pick up a book at the local library for me. "Buddhism for Mothers : A calm approach to to caring for yourself and your children" was a book that I came across on Pinterest months and months ago. Coincidentally, my sister brought it up with her when she arrived during the week of R's birth, thinking I might like it (she gets me!). I didn't get a chance to read it then, but it was now that I needed it and the public library here didn't carry it.
It was just what I was looking for and I knew that it would be. I needed to refocus and recharge before I returned home and with this book I felt refreshed and ready to tackle my new life as a mother of two.
When I started this blog, I felt like I Found My Feet was a perfect name because I wanted to share my experiences as a rookie but confident mother foremost. Now, I almost feel like I have found my feet all over again. My new found mindfulness and energy is amazing me. I feel like I learn something new about myself everyday. I'm finding it kind of mind boggling and out if this world at times, but I'm rolling with it and embracing it and excited to see where it takes me.