Friday, June 22, 2012

The Big Brother Blues

Big brother in charge indeed!

I think we did a pretty good job preparing E for what he would experience during the birth and telling him all about a new baby. What we FAILED in (and I'm not sure it is even possible to WIN at this) was preparing him for the lack of routine and split attention he would get when the baby arrived.

We had planned for E to stay in day care for the baby's first week to give me time to rest, recover from the birth, establish breastfeeding and get into some kind of groove with the new baby. Thankfully, our timeline worked out beautifully. Hubby went back to work after three days (yes only three days home, and yes it was a blessing to have him home for three whole days when you factor in his otherwise hectic and demanding work schedule) and I enjoyed some nice long naps during the day and even some running around town with baby R (day five in the house was my breaking point so off to the mall I went!)

When everyone asked how E was adjusting I replied that he was doing fabulous BUT and I made sure to say BUT, he was still in day care and the fun was only to begin the following week.

And fun it has been.

On the Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday of my new life as a SAHM of two I thought that E had actually come down with something. Oddly enough, he didn't have a fever? WEIRD. His whining, clingingness, screaming and cry-baby behaviour continued into Thursday and Friday. This was typical fever behaviour but no fever. SO WEIRD! Then it hit us. This is what everyone warned us about. The Big Brother Blues!

Don't get me wrong, E has been amazing with R. He asks to hold him and kiss him and tells him it will be okay when he cries. I never doubted that he would be a great big brother. However, not having my full attention has been hard on him and not having a routine is absolutely crushing him. A friend recommended some great tips to help him through this rough patch including more eye contact, physical contact and focused attention. I'm trying to be aware of these things and I find that it has helped a lot.

But. BUT.

It has been a rough couple weeks. Well into the second week I did see a bit if a turn around. A bit. That turn around came with a lot of work on my part in trying to get some normal back into his life. We've had trying afternoons especially since E is currently refusing his naps and bedtime has been a chore. Jiggling, rocking, nursing a baby while reading bedtime stories isn't the easiest task!

What I'm struggling with is how to start my days off on the right foot. I'm finding it nearly impossible to get out of the house before 10am and before we know it it's lunch time. Nap time has always been 1-3pm but he is just not tired enough yet at this time lately because our mornings are so blah. Mornings filled with TV (not proud of the amount he has been watching lately), puzzles, games are just not wearing this dude out and he is getting bored, antsy, annoyed with the lack of stimulation. I can tell by his constant questions. What are you making mommy? Where are we doing today, Mommy? What are we doing now, Mommy? I'm surprised he hasn't started begging me to take him back to day care yet.
I know it will come and the three of us with get into a groove soon, but man, I thought I would be the one with the blues during these early weeks! There is just no time for that!

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