Thursday, April 26, 2012

Mom's Miscarriage Story

I've been writing out all of my Mom's Birth Stories (I'm a little behind now) and I am learning a lot about those little things that may not have been spoken about before. This next story is a story that I had never asked many questions about. I knew that my Mom had a miscarriage after me which would have been her eighth pregnancy and because of that there was a wider than normal gap between me and the next child (3 1/2) years. Here is Mom's miscarriage story.

On September 25, 1985 I had a pregnancy test done which came back positive. The symptoms were all the same as previous pregnancies. Before I was able to go to my first Obstetrician appointment however, I experienced a miscarriage. 

The morning of October 10, 1985 I began to bleed a little.  I rested but on October 13th (5-6 weeks pregnant) I had heavy bleeding and eventually went to the hospital. The doctors said the tissue was gone but the placenta was still there. They advised me to have a D & C to clean the area in case of infection. I had that done the next day and went home late that night.

The next week I had terrible back pain and on my left side. It turned out to be a kidney stone which I passed after much pain.

The doctor usually prescribed a multivitamin during pregnancy and I began taking them right away which the doctors reassured me shouldn’t have been the problem. A few days before the incident I remember cleaning the toilets and using bleach which gave off very strong fumes in the small room that I found it hard to breath. Could that have triggered it? Years later we heard that electric blankets were a culprit and we had used one back then but not sure during those months?

We hadn’t planned on getting pregnant then but we were open to life should it happen. The doctors reassured me that miscarriages happen often and I mustn’t blame myself and that it was natures way. I was sad to think of losing a little one but if the conditions weren’t right then it wasn’t meant to be. I did not dwell on this but certainly valued more the seven precious lives that I had been blessed with already.  

While Mom does not necessarily get into too many emotions when telling her story, it is evident that even though it was very early in the pregnancy it was still a tough situation to go through.  She had many of the same feelings and thoughts I have heard of before, especially that of blaming herself or something she did.  I am happy she offered this story, because I have noticed that miscarriages are often not talked about.  I wish more women spoke openly about their experience because it really is much more common than we think and woman need to support each other.

The same week my Mom sent me this story, I read another miscarriage story online that really stuck with me.  I follow Stephanie from Mama and Baby Love on Facebook and was introduced to her blog though the Natural Parents Network.  I really admire her writing and followed along as she announced her pregnancy and while she engaged with her fans on what she believed was signs of miscarriage.  Soon after, she wrote a post about her experience in having a natural miscarriage at home.  It was so raw and emotional and one of the most moving posts I have ever read. If you get a chance to read it, you should.

Thank you, Mom and Stephanie, for sharing your stories.

2 comments:

  1. I read Stephanie's post as well. Heartwrenching but I was so happy I read it.

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  2. So true, about women not telling these kind of stories - I had one before my first son was born, and at the time I felt that it should absolutely be kept a secret, even going so far as to deny it to concerned friends who asked me point blank. Now I see that it would have been better for me and for others to share the story as it happened. I feel for your mom - I'm sure this was a very hard thing for her to live through.

    On a happier note - loved your happy belly shots from the previous post! Looking forward to seeing the new little one.

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