Thursday, April 26, 2012

Mom's Miscarriage Story

I've been writing out all of my Mom's Birth Stories (I'm a little behind now) and I am learning a lot about those little things that may not have been spoken about before. This next story is a story that I had never asked many questions about. I knew that my Mom had a miscarriage after me which would have been her eighth pregnancy and because of that there was a wider than normal gap between me and the next child (3 1/2) years. Here is Mom's miscarriage story.

On September 25, 1985 I had a pregnancy test done which came back positive. The symptoms were all the same as previous pregnancies. Before I was able to go to my first Obstetrician appointment however, I experienced a miscarriage. 

The morning of October 10, 1985 I began to bleed a little.  I rested but on October 13th (5-6 weeks pregnant) I had heavy bleeding and eventually went to the hospital. The doctors said the tissue was gone but the placenta was still there. They advised me to have a D & C to clean the area in case of infection. I had that done the next day and went home late that night.

The next week I had terrible back pain and on my left side. It turned out to be a kidney stone which I passed after much pain.

The doctor usually prescribed a multivitamin during pregnancy and I began taking them right away which the doctors reassured me shouldn’t have been the problem. A few days before the incident I remember cleaning the toilets and using bleach which gave off very strong fumes in the small room that I found it hard to breath. Could that have triggered it? Years later we heard that electric blankets were a culprit and we had used one back then but not sure during those months?

We hadn’t planned on getting pregnant then but we were open to life should it happen. The doctors reassured me that miscarriages happen often and I mustn’t blame myself and that it was natures way. I was sad to think of losing a little one but if the conditions weren’t right then it wasn’t meant to be. I did not dwell on this but certainly valued more the seven precious lives that I had been blessed with already.  

While Mom does not necessarily get into too many emotions when telling her story, it is evident that even though it was very early in the pregnancy it was still a tough situation to go through.  She had many of the same feelings and thoughts I have heard of before, especially that of blaming herself or something she did.  I am happy she offered this story, because I have noticed that miscarriages are often not talked about.  I wish more women spoke openly about their experience because it really is much more common than we think and woman need to support each other.

The same week my Mom sent me this story, I read another miscarriage story online that really stuck with me.  I follow Stephanie from Mama and Baby Love on Facebook and was introduced to her blog though the Natural Parents Network.  I really admire her writing and followed along as she announced her pregnancy and while she engaged with her fans on what she believed was signs of miscarriage.  Soon after, she wrote a post about her experience in having a natural miscarriage at home.  It was so raw and emotional and one of the most moving posts I have ever read. If you get a chance to read it, you should.

Thank you, Mom and Stephanie, for sharing your stories.

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Belly Watch! 35 weeks

It has been a while since I've taken some belly shots. Here are a few from after E's third birthday party on Sunday (which I will be sure to write about soon!).

Monday, April 23, 2012

Two more minutes

I came across this poster and saying today on Facebook and it reminded me of a new saying that has entered the walls of our new home. It started around the same time as we moved three weeks ago. Sadly, I don't think the timing is a coincidence.

Two more minutes he asks when he's playing with his favourite toys and doesn't want to do what I ask of him.

Two more minutes he asks when he wants us to continue playing with him.

We had friends and family over to celebrate E’s birthday yesterday. When it was time for my parents to leave and E was having a good time playing with his Grandma in the back yard, he asked her to stay for two more minutes.

After a busy day when Daddy was helping him in the bath and told him it was time to come out, I heard him ask for just two more minutes.

When I was reading him his new birthday books before bed he asked me to read for two more minutes and when I was done reading and tucked him in, he asked me to lie with him for just two more minutes.

This morning in our usual routine, E climbed under the covers with Daddy and asked for two more minutes lying in bed with him while I got ready. This is a time and request we rarely ignore. It is a special time that my boys have. I get sit by and watch them giggle and being two minutes late for work as a result is something I'll risk any day.
After hearing this new trend in his speech, a couple people in our lives have told us that this is a BAD habit and that we shouldn’t give into his constant request for just two more minutes. I have to admit, that sometimes it does get tiring and in entertaining the two minutes he is usually just playing us. I usually need to explain to him that the two minutes is up or I'll countdown to one minute and then have to let him know when I am finished. He is usually pretty accommodating if we explain things this way, the reasonable kid he is. Other times he may kick and scream.

Something I try to be conscious of is ignoring or putting off playtime or listening time with him. It is so easy as a parent to get wrapped up in what you’re busy with and when your child is pulling at your leg to tell them, “not right now”, or "not today",  or “I’ll be with you in one minute”, or “I don’t have time to play, why don’t you play by yourself”. This has happened a lot lately in our house with so much going on and especially with our move. When E has wanted to play or tell me something for the millionth time in the last few weeks I've been consumed with packing and unpacking.

If I can't give him just two measly minutes what am I teaching him? I want him up know that his opinion is wanted, that his word is important, that we respect him and have time for him no matter how big or small the situation or comment is. I don't want him to EVER lose confidence is us.

I think it's common as parents to second guess your choices or think that you may have made a mistake in parenting. I try to think that every time I have one of these aha! moments with E, even if it's just after reading a poster I came across on Facebook, that not only am I only human, I am becoming a stronger parent and person every day. And that's what life is all about.                         

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

A new home

Goodbye March 2012, Hello April 2012!

I'm not one to wish away time.  I try to breathe in every day and make the most of the ups and especially the downs. But March 2012? I'm trying not to remember.

It's been a stressful month looking for a house, putting an offer on a house, paying for a house and the million other expenses (lawyers, inspectors, insurers, oh my!) and paperwork that come along with it, packing and finally moving.  We put an offer on our home exactly three weeks from the day we moved.  It was a very quick turn around.  My evenings consisted of bringing home cardboard boxes and packing nearly every night for two weeks straight. My hands are dry and cracking, beat up from the dust and cardboard and taping. My back aches from the stress and from moving things around (don't worry, I realize I'm 32 weeks pregnant and I know my limits ha!), my hips and legs are crampy from walking up and down stairs. I am exhausted.

During those last three weeks Hubby got bronchitis for a week, E developed a fever that was a week long of clingy, miserableness and the dog went crazy with anxiety issues that kept us up for two full nights .(due to the change of scenery and boxes we are assuming) and I was trying to balance it all without going crazy myself.

I've heard of people literally throwing up when they signed on the dotted line to buy a house and handed over the money.  Although I didn't quite get to that point, I did have times along the way where the stress felt like it was going to lead me into pre-mature labour.  Those are the evenings I went to bed with E cuddled beside me, practicing my breathing and trying to relax.  Thinking to myself - tomorrow is a new day!

March sucked, but I am not a total pessimist. It brought us to our new home.  A beautiful town home, just perfect for us. Across from a large park, around the corner from another cute little park, down the street from the school E will attend in 1 1/2 years.  We have a backyard and a garage and a basement - adding so much room to what we have been used to over the last few years.  I have so many ideas and dreams for this house.  It just feels like home already.

March also reminded us that we have a wonderful network of family and friends who are always willing to help out.  From answered panicked phone calls, to moving boxes, to bringing snacks, to unpacking boxes - we are so fortunate for all of their help.

And so now I welcome April with open arms. We are busy unpacking, settling in, arranging furniture, learning new routes to and from work and day care, scoping out the neighbourhood and parks and amenities and I couldn't be happier.  We did it. We are home.

E holding the key to our new house. Moving day - March 31, 2012