The other night I settled into my regular evening spot on the gliding chair. E collected his favourite soft brown blanket and stuffed friends to join me for some bedtime stories. Every night he climbs into what Hubby and I call his "little nook", his safe haven on my lap.
I look back now at how this nook as evolved from a cradle hold while I nursed him to sleep as a baby, to an acrobatic half cradle-half sitting up spot as a young toddler as we neared the end of our nursing relationship, to sitting straight up with his back against my belly with books in hand. The last few months his position has changed once again. I can no longer bare his weight on my belly and so he sits almost completely sideways on my lap to make room for his books, teddy, penguin, giraffe, blanket and of course, my growing belly.
As I leaned over the side of the chair to retrieve the books he had picked out and stacked on the floor beside me, he tried to climb up onto my knees without my assistance. Next thing I knew he was half off my lap and tilting backwards into a spiral flip to the floor in slow motion. Huge gasps and cries followed and I was convinced he had a minor concussion from hitting his head off the door of the closet. He surprisingly didn't have any marks and was more frightened than anything. I couldn't stop thinking about it all night.
I felt terrible for not paying more attention. I also felt terrible because he knows our new routine and his new nook so well, that he was being careful not to push against my belly. In minding my space, he lost track of his balance.
I picked him up so quickly and held him tight. Once he caught his breath and settled down he asked, "Mommy, can you push over your belly?"
Explaining to an almost three year old that my belly won't be going anywhere anytime soon and that it will soon be replaced with someone who will rock his world even more is nearly impossible. It seems like little brother or sister is already getting a head start in marking their territory. Poor big brother has no idea what is about to hit him!