I think that I have the foundation for the next big reality TV show. The setting would be in toddler's playrooms, in the back seat of the car and for the highlight of the show - behind closed doors in their bedrooms while they should be napping. Camera's would follow them around town and catch their ridiculous tantrums and demands in public. It would be a comedy of course.
I have heard the most ridiculous, hilarious and downright annoying things come out of my toddler's mouth in the last week and a half since we have been home together on holidays. Today was NO exception and it began as soon as he woke up.
We listened to the usual chatter, the singing of the ABC's and Old MacDonald when he woke up and waited for the cries to come get him. Soon enough he was demanding popcorn and movies and bacon and eggs at a restaurant. We have been clearly living it up on these holidays and he's been getting spoiled and a little too accustomed to these treats. When Hubby told him no, he cried to me and said, "Mommy, Daddy made me cry." Instantly breaking his Daddy's heart.
At my midwife appointment he repeatedly told me he was hungry and wanted to eat a hang-ga-bur and fries. Clearly, remembering the meal we had on our road trip the other day. He demanded it until I dragged him inside Tim Horton's and told him that we were getting soups instead at which he yelled out "I want hang-ga-bur and fries!" I dragged him right back to the car and told him that with that behaviour there would be no lunch. And then the sweet little angel that I know best came back to life and asked me, "Mommy, what's the matter? I am hungry. Please can go we go back and eat lunch?" Oy.
When we got home it was clearly nap time. He tried every excuse in the book including the need for a cup of milk, medicine, his nose wiped, to go pee. And this is what was heard for the first 20 minutes of nap time: "I DO NOT want to nap. I want to go downstairs with Mommy and make chocolate cookies. I will eat chocolate cookies because I am the boss! No fair! Mommy said NO and that is rude! RUDE! RUDE! RUDE! I will not sleep in my crib. I will cry and Mommy will come and see me. And she will bring me downstairs to watch a movie. NO, NO, NO I am not sleeping! No fair!"
See how he thinks he has me all figured out? I won this one - hitting publish in silence.
That is until he wakes up and starts calling me "Alicia, because that is your name" again.
Seriously, turn this life into a reality show.