I had big plans for this week. It's September, after all. Summer is coming to an end and although no one in my family is heading back to school, I have an overwhelming sense to get back on track with resolutions and schedules just like the beginning of the new year. But it hit us like a ton of bricks. The croup.
Saturday evening I heard a few bark-like coughs come from E's mouth and made note to pump him with vitamin C on Sunday to prevent a oncoming cold. Sunday we spent the afternoon at my brother's with family and E was his usual active self playing soccer and jumping on the trampoline. On the drive home, however, he told me his "tummy was sick" and started a sick-like whine. Before bed he coughed and coughed. I put the cool air mist humidifier on in his room and he slept for 12 hours without interruption. I thought we were in the clear.
Monday was to be spent, just the 3 of us, enjoying some sun and an activity outdoors. Instead we spent the whole day inside with a clingy sick little boy, barking with seal-like cough. The evening was worse, coughing so much he had a hard time catching his breath. He went to bed just fine, but within a few hours I heard him start a coughing attack and I rushed in to find him almost choking for air. I turned his head and sure enough, he threw-up. We brought him in to our bed and he has been joining us in the middle of the night every night once the coughing attacks start and continue for the remainder of the night.
We went to the Doctor's office as soon as it opened Tuesday morning. I knew this was more than just a cold and felt as if he might need antibiotics. I didn't want to risk continuing with the homeopathic medicine I have at home just in case is was more advanced like pneumonia or bronchitis. He was diagnosed with croup and we picked up a dose of antibiotics and puffer (thank goodness for medical insurance with the hefty price tag).
Wednesday he woke up fine and since I was feeling guilty about not being a work I got ready and decided to try him at day care. The drop off didn't go as planned and he was upset even thinking about his Mommy leaving and had a coughing attack. Mrs. X and I decided he wasn't ready and while he would survive there, it wasn't fair to a sick little boy that just wanted his Mommy.
The cough doesn't sound as fierce now, but the coughing attacks still exist. If he doesn't improve by next week, I'll have to take him back in. Having him on these medications kind of worries me. I'm trying to do my best to avoid medications and find natural remedies. I've been keeping the windows open, keeping him elevated and keeping the cool mist humidifier running. In the evenings, I have been taking him for a walk in the stroller to help him breathe in the cool air. I can't get him to drink warm water with lemon and honey like suggested by some friends, but the homeopathic syrup (Boiron Stodal) is honey based and seems to help a bit.
There's nothing worse than feeling helpless when your child is sick. I just want to make him better. I almost feel guilty for letting this happen to him. It's silly, I know. But I'm his Mother. I am supposed to protect him. On top of this motherhood guilt, I am feeling enormous guilt from work (from myself, not my colleagues). I should be manning my department this week while one colleague is on vacation and the others are overseas. I feel like I am letting everyone down. And to make matters worse, I'm starting to get a tickle in my throat which was bound to happen with a child coughing in my face 24/7.
Here's hoping for a recovery and a fresh start next Monday.