I remember emailing my Mom years ago when times were tough for Hubby and I. It was one of those, why me?, take pity on me, my life sucks, we are so poor, nothing ever works out for us kind of emails. What I was looking for was sympathy. In reply, my mother set me straight. She told me how fortunate I was for having such a loving Husband. To told me how lucky I was to be healthy, to have a roof over my head and an education and a job. She told me to stop complaining. She reminded me to look at the positives in life. WHAT. A. BLOW. I'll never forget that email.
My sister, R, started a blog when she moved to Scotland in December. R has always been the creative one in the family. She has a love for music and writing and is an aspiring children's book author. My fondest memories of R as a child was reading her poems. She had such a way with rhymes, even winning local poetry contests. She is going places, that girl. Both literally and figuratively.
R's blog, titled "those who wish to sing, always find a song", is based on song lyrics. She takes a life experience and relates it to a song she's heard. She put a call out over a month ago to write a post about her readers. Of course, I was game.
The title of R's post about me was titled, "Charmed Life". My initial thought was, Me? Really?
I remember discussing the basis around this post with her last summer. She had recently graduated from Queen's University and just returned from a summer of cherry picking (yes, cherry picking) in BC. She met some great friends who all shared a similar passion of hers - to travel the world.
We sat around the kitchen table with my Dad and R told us about a heated discussion she had with her new friends. They thought anyone who didn't travel was missing out on life. They thought non-travellers were stupid, to sum it up. R tried to convince them otherwise. Even though she shared their passion, she knew someone who didn't. Me. (This discussion, by the way, really fired up my Dad. God love him.)
I think it would be nice to travel the world some day but, it has never been high on my priority list. When I finished college I was set on starting a career (which ironically gave me many travelling opportunities), getting married and starting a family. As R explains, different things make different people happy.
I often joked with R when she was nearing graduation. "So when are you going to get a real job? When are you going to start your life?" We laughed, because I was clearly joking. I admired her plans to travel and explore and to find herself. R would often say, "I can't believe at my age you were already married!" It's crazy to look at it that way.
R's post brought me back to my Mom's email. I really appreciated R's kind words and most of all her point of view. Her post surprised me. To her my life seems perfect and is something she aspires too. Fancy that!? From the outside, I really do have it made, don't I? So why is it so hard to see through all the tough stuff?
Hubby gets up from the dinner table to leave for a work meeting. He gives E kiss, then a kiss for me. As he stands at the door saying his goodbyes E requests more kisses.
E - Kiss, Daddy?
Hubby walks over and kisses him and turns for the door again.
E - Kiss Mommy, Daddy?
We laugh and Hubby walks over and kisses me.
Repeat X 2
Finally Hubby declares the last kiss and leaves.
It's small little life events, reminder emails and blog posts like this that snap me back to reality. No matter how much school debt we still have left to pay or how much money we don't have saved and no matter how small our house is.
This is THE life.
My charmed life.
My happily ever after.