Thursday, February 10, 2011

It's not easy being a mother

"It's not easy being a mother. If it were easy, fathers would do it." ~ The Golden Girls

This has been a tough week. Actually, two weeks. Hubby is working long hours and I am tired; tired of doing it all on my own. How do single mothers do it? Or my Mom; how did she do it? My Dad works really long hours on the farm and most days he only enters the house to eat and sleep. How did she do it with a full house of kids?  I only have one! I have a new found respect for my Mom and the fact that she didn't go completely ape shit. It's amazing that they will be celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary this year. I feel completely batty after going through this routine for two straight weeks.

Get up. Shower. Get dressed. Get child dressed. Fight him to brush his teeth and wash his face. Pack up my lunch and his diaper bag. Fight him to get winter outerwear on. Try not to fall on steps covered in newly fallen snow while carrying child and three bags. Fight child to buckle in car seat. Clean snow (seriously, is it done snowing yet?) off car. Drive to day care provider's. Find child's boots in back seat and put back on and remind him that it does not make Mommy happy when he kicks his boots off in the car! Deal with a clingy drop-off. Drive to work in traffic. Work 8 hours. Drive home in traffic. Pick up child from day care. Struggle to buckle in car seat. Repeat putting boots back on when we arrive home. Make dinner while child wants my utmost attention. Give cuddles and kisses to child feeling ignored. Refrain child from touching hot pots and pans on stove. Take dog out. Feed dog. Remove child from kitchen and from making a mess of dog's dishes.  Feed child dinner. Entertain/play with child. Bathe child. Put child to bed. Wash dishes/load dish washer. Wash/dry laundry. Fold laundry. Crash. REPEAT DAY AFTER DAY.

Every night I just feel like crashing. I do the bare minimums, but my house is still a mess. The weather doesn't help and the fact that I'm SO over winter. Maybe it's the lack of sleep I got again last night. Or maybe I just need a breather and to get out of the house.  Or maybe I'm just a Debby Downer today. Whatever it is, I am not feeling my happy and chipper self these days. I think it's time to delegate some more responsibilities around the house :)


  1. You're only human mama, and your "bare minimums" are some people's "absolute best" so don't be hard on yourself. Everyone needs a breather every now and then (personally, I was starting to wonder f you're even human because you never stop). Your Mom sounds like a strong and amazing mother, I see where your innate mothering qualities come from, but keep in mind that it can be easier with a house full of kids because the older kids help out, and the younger kids entertain each other. When it's just you and little E, it's you and only YOU he wants, that makes things a lot more difficult when your attention is already split 90 ways. Single parents can only do their best and sometimes isn't the best we want to give our kids but it's our best and it's more than enough. Your best is more than enough for little E, though it does sound like you're requiring a little "me" time to focus some of your best on yourself! Chin up Mama, you're doing a great job and a little delegating sounds like a great idea!

  2. Sorry to hear you're having a tough time leesh.

    Perhaps a quick pranayama (breathing) exercise before bed would help quiet the mind and body.

    Here is a step-by-step for one I really enjoy called 'alternate nostril breathing' whereas you're calming the nervous system and simultaneously the mind by focusing on the movement of breath through each nostril and out again and its also helping to re-synchronize the energy flow between the mid-body and heart chakras.

    may you be well :)

  3. I had that type of week last week... where I was on my own with my munchkins and the daily routine (plus a sick child) was wearing very thin on me. I am with you on the single mother's comment, and the my mother comment to. My Dad worked away through the week when were little - and I looking back now I don't know how she did it on her own with very many breaks from us - new found respect is so true.

    I hope a Mommy break is coming your way soon. Hang in there.

  4. Hi there! Found your blog through your comments on Just wanted to commisserate. Been there, done that while my husband worked evening shift and with two little munchkins. I'm sure I blogged about it too :). It's exhausting but it won't last forever, it gets easier I assure you. Just hang in there and don't worry about the cleaning. Every mom who works and has little kids has a messy house through the week, I'm sure of it.

  5. It gets better. And easier. I am sure that your mother did go a little bit crazy from time to time. Also, she had the benefit (I'm giggling) of having sooooo many children...perhaps some of them helped out!

    The second child is easier (again, I'm giggling). Trust me!

  6. It sounds kinda crazy huh, when you write it down and see it like that? Like, seriously, are you thinking I'll have to do this FOREVER?? I get that. Really. But it will get easier. All of a sudden, your kids don't want you to dress them anymore (SCORE!!!) then they're excited to go to school/daycare (WOOT!!!) and they don't go to bed at 7pm anymore, so you have more time at night (YEE HAW!!). Meanwhile, just know you're not alone. We've all been there, and sometimes you just have to let it out. Any parent that tells you their life is sunshine and roses is full of b.s. and not worth your time. Stick to the "real" people who tell you that managing home/babies/work is really hard, and there are days you just don't want to do it anymore, but if you just stick with it, you'll come out the other side. ;) Plus your kids are adorable and their velcro hugs are sometimes all you need to get you through a day. Keep on truckin'.

  7. I seem to always be the last to comment, I'm so very far behind..

    But having two kids now myself, I can tell you that it does get better and easier. I also appreciate my own mother so much more now that I've had kids. She had three and worked full time for the government. I have two and work part time and have been home before that for 3 years!

    We've all been there... I'm sure your mom had hard days too. Take it one day at a time - spring is around the corner and if anything you won't have to worry about snowsuits or slipping on ice!

  8. I did single mom for 3 years...Its rough! I went from single mom of one to married mom of 3 within 2 years...and let me tell ya...sometimes i still feel like its all up to me. Im kinda a hyprocrite for saying this but you need YOU time. I know you dont let little E watch T.V. (And I know hes not a huge fan) but maybe turning Franklin on for half an hour and having a warm bath wouldnt hurt anyone and do you a world of good :)