I'm late! I'm late! For a very important date!
I hate being late. I hate the feeling of letting someone down or showing up to a meeting or event and having everyone's eyes on you and judging you. Because of this, I'm not late very often these days.
Growing up I was always late, especially for school. I would sleep in and miss the bus all the time. My poor parents would scold me and tell me to either walk or bike to meet up with the school bus. I grew up in the country and on an island. It wasn't easy to meet up with the bus. It involved a fast 15 minute bike ride or a 30 minute run with your overweight book bag on your back down a dirt road. Tough cookies for a lazy teenager. However, I was usually able to sweet talk them into driving me the 5 minutes down the road. If I was really late - I missed the ferry to the mainland entirely. And that meant finding my way to school off the next scheduled boat an hour later usually involving a 30 minute walk to school - up hill. Needless to say - I've learned that being late sucks. BIG TIME.
Pre-baby I still didn't really care about being late to work. Hubby and I only had one car so I was stuck taking the city bus. I hated taking the city bus. I showed up to work sometime in the morning, put my hours in and went home whenever. My boss was really lax and trusted that I was getting my work done. I also worked late a lot of the time to get stuff done or get a head start on projects.
During little E's first months I found being on time extremely hard. Just when you thought you were ready to head out the door, life would throw you a curve ball. All of sudden, baby would wake up or start crying or be hungry or spit up or have a poop-splosion all over the outfit you just changed them in. It was nearly impossible to be on time for anything and absolutely overwhelming at times. When he was really young I would give him a top-up nursing session just to be on the safe side. At least then I knew I had a couple hours. But that trick only worked for so long. I think I finally mastered getting out of the house on time right before my maternity leave ended.
My parents would probably die of laughter if they saw how strict my schedule is now. Since being back to work, I have huge responsibilities and NEED to be on time. I have to drop little E off in time for breakfast at day care (she gives them a healthy hot breakfast every morning - a huge time saver for me!). I work on the opposite side of the city of my workplace so I have to give myself enough time to drive 35-45 minutes to work. Then, at the end of the day I am rushing out as soon as the clock ticks 4:00pm. Day care closes at 5:00 pm and I feel like an awful parent even if I show up with 5 minutes to spare.
Before getting our second vehicle Hubby and I were car pooling to work and with Queensway traffic we were getting to daycare just in the nick of time or sometimes a few minutes late. I wanted to cry - it was so stressful. I felt horrible and like I was letting everyone down. Thank goodness we were able to get a second vehicle - I was turning into a complete stress ball. I looked a lot like that silly rabbit from Alice in Wonderland most days and was starting to develop a serious case of road rage.